DoraMona, thanks for clarifying your mother's age. She sounds a similar type to mine!

Our reactions are different because we are dealing with a blood relative. Mothers are supposed to nurture, yet many fall short of this expectation. They still believe that despite the hostile behaviour, we'll forget this and respond to their every need.

Your SO is right. When dealing with someone like your mother (and mine!), it's important to set boundaries. Okay, it may not work all the time but at least you have control over how you react. Hope the time delay for the test works. Unfortunately, it's likely you will need to employ this strategy many times (in differing scenarios) to ensure you remain in control of you own needs (such as sleep).