So Covid numbers are rising considerably in our area. Dr. T had said a few weeks ago that he wasn't too concerned, as hospitalization and death rates aren't rising. Then in a recent session, he said he's been keeping an eye on the numbers and a bit concerned. He'd said consistenly since we resumed in person a couple months ago that he intended to give me a week's notice (which would 2 or 3 sessions depending on his interpretation of "a week") if he decides to go back to virtual.

Then today, I was confirming near the end of session that he'd give me a week's notice, of course barring something like his testing positive or having a known exposure (which I'd understand would be immediate virtual). He said, "Well, I don't know if I could give a full week" and said how there are other factors at play. Like other people's opinions he'd have to consider, saying something like, "She might insist on something, and I'd have to listen to her." Me: "'She' being your wife?" Him: "Yes." I said I understood.

But there's also this (perhaps selfish?) part of me that's thinking he told me he'd be able to give a week's notice (again, barring something like testing positive), and now he's sort of pulling back on that. And the week thing was making me feel more secure, like at least I'd still have a couple in-person sessions to process it. Plus it feels like he's sort of abdicating responsibility if he says it could be based on what his wife said. It's different in a way to me if he says, "I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable continuing in person" vs. "My wife won't let me continue in person." Even if he says the reason he's choosing not to continue is "I don't want to put my wife or son at risk," it's more him owning the decision. Does that make sense? Like "I'm making this decision" vs. "Someone is forcing my hand." Just trying to work through this in my mind before I potentially bring it up with him next session.

[Braces self for everyone telling me how selfish I am.]