My Support Forums - View Single Post - Gf is diagnosed with depression and panic disorder

eskielover · May 11, 2022, 07:54 PM

I can relate to your GF. My parents weren't educated & I always thought their issues were because of that so my drive was to get my college degree & have a responsible career. Back in the 70's, my dad didn't approve of my going to college but I did it anyway & worked hard. Changed majors as a junior from the AA I got in music to Accounting & Computer Science. Ended up getting married before getting my degree but when got pregnant, my H said I could just take a 5 year break from school....like I was only going to have 10 more months before graduating. First serious battle though many others before that because my degree & a career was what I said even before the wedding was my priority & I told him I didn't want to get married if that was going to be an issue. He agreed till it happened. I held strong to my goals. Had our daughter, finished my degree & had a career job offer before graduation. I actually loved my career but aerospace computer design was always dependent on military contracts so job stability wasn't great either. Managed to have an outstanding career for 15 years....then EVERYTHING fell apart & depression hit. Later on I realized the depression was really bad because my career was actually my escape from my bad marriage so when the escape was gone I had nothing good left. Aerospace crashed & there were no jobs then so I didn't even have an income to leave the marriage & take care of myself....that left me feeling totally TRAPPED with no way out. Didn't see all that until a few years after I was finally able to leave. So career goals are great but one needs to see a bigger picture of life & have an awareness that I didn't have at the time. Lots of details left out as to what made it so bad.....but that is the long complicated part.

I definitely understand her drive for career goals but life can take unexpected turns & part of being able to weather those things is being adaptable....something at the time I had no intention of being because I had fought everyone too hard to reach my initial goals. I just wish I knew then what I know now.