thankyou so much, I know i will keep going. i have been in and out of hospital for a bit and my holiday to Sweden and my T's holidays and dissitation have made it really hard .... she is very keen on taking things really slowly, i am so lucky to have her. i guess i just panicked for a while because i haven't been for so long. You're right when you say i have to feel worse to get better too. I've been so good just lately i am getting stronger though, so hopefully i'll be ok.. thankyou so much for taking time to answer me, much appreciated .

hugs, take care and good luck to you all too .... Jinnyann xoxoxoxo