It is over. My baby is gone.

It didn't go as well as I thought. I gave him gabapentin but as usual, it didn't work. Me and the vet had to hold him down so she could give him the sedative injection. But once that was done he collapsed pretty quickly. I had previously told the vet that I would leave as I didn't want to see it. My cat doesn't really recognize me - especially when they are scared. So my being around would not have comforted him.

So I left and walked around outside. About 20 minutes later it was all done. The vet left and I was alone in the house.

Yes I cried. I probably will all day.

But next week I have to go to work for a week so that probably will help.

And not to be crass but a lot of good things have opened up for me right now so I hope I can soon think about that.