I'm like notme9 - if my T is on vacation, I don't call him. What I would probably do (and have done) is write a letter to T with my questions, feelings, etc. When I've done this in the past, I re-read it a lot, and add things as they come up - then when I see T, I either bring it, or know it by heart and just tell him what it says.

It's SO HARD to not have access to T when I'm having questions about our relationship. That's actually one of the hardest things for me in therapy. The letter writing helps, for sure, but it's still so tough.

If your T hasn't left for vacation yet, I would definitely call, no question about it.

I'm so sorry you're in this tough spot. I know how bad it must feel.