Hugs if you want some, NP. There's no timeframe for "getting over" something, and you experienced prolonged abuse by your Ex.
If people can be bitten once by a dog and develop a lifelong phobia, which people respect... how much more what Ex did to you? Plus, your mother is being invalidating, and minimising.
Even if you were seeking attention (and my T says it's "connection seeking"), there's an unmet need there. To be seen, heard, cared about when you're having a difficult time over events which you feel shame about "not getting over it fast enough".
When I've asked similar "I should be over it by now", to my T (some events from my adolescence, so really long ago), she would say "whose voice is that?".
There's also a difference between talking about an abusive relationship VS processing the trauma from it, but I don't remember what it is. Other than it's the T's job to help so the client doesn't get retraumatised.
I'd be frustrated and stressed with your T's lack of clear plans.