Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Yeah PTSD isn’t a joke. My husband has been diagnosed with PTSD as well. He has it under control but it’s not something that would just go away. The thing is that substance abuse makes it worse, not better. Your husband needs to seek proper help. Not drugging.
I’d say if it’s severe enough he might need to go on disability. If he wants to stay employed though, he needs to figure out ways to behave on the job.
Reality is that you can’t make him do any of it. He has to want to make changes. It can’t come from you
And let’s face it as important as he is for you, and as much as you want to help him, emotional and physical health and safety of your minor children should be a priority. What happens now effects them forever. We are responsible for life we create for our children
|
Thank you, Divine. Yes he needs proper help but he is so stubborn. He won’t figure out ways to stay on the job. He’s now concluded that he just needs to do art and sell art. I assume he will apply for unemployment. His doctor had signed a paper saying he can’t work, but then he got a job anyway. And then he got a different job which should have been low stress, but still was fired yesterday. He thinks it’s his job to teach people a lesson. It’s very unhealthy. He gets fired for it. He likes to dominate people. I think he should apply for disability but he didn’t want to when I brought it up before. He’s impossible.
I can’t help him, I know it. I want the best life for my kids! It’s just dawned on me…I think a couple few years ago my husband must have been telling our son that I want to separate because suddenly my son was saying “mom you have to love us how we are. We are a family we have to stay together.” My husband was standing there. It was very weird and tense and I steered things another way. My kids confronted me around the same time (without him there) with long faces, asking me if I was getting a divorce. I asked them why they were asking me that, and they said they had seen something on the computer. I had been looking it up for my job, and explained that to them. They were relieved and crying. So from this, I had put out of my head to leave him when I had been privately considering it before. That’s why I was caught off guard when my daughter brought her suggestion for divorce to me. My son currently asks how I can stand to be with him and he limits contact with him as much as possible.
I want what’s best and it’s a confusing tangled mess in my head and heart which is why I’m coming here. Thank you everyone for taking your time for me.