So you both grew up with some kind of dysfunction and maybe that is how you bonded. You were too young to really understand what your decision really meant when you married your husband. Sounds like he had deep traumas that caused enough damage that he was susceptible of experiencing a break down.

It’s true that he may never learn to manage the ptsd. It’s a lot of work and takes a lot of patience. It’s definitely a cruel mental illness. It can literally hyjack the brain. It’s constantly being studied and a lot of effort is going into trying to find the right medications and therapy to help ptsd sufferers control it better. It’s such an intrusive mental illness. The depression it creates tends to be actual exhaustion.

He is managing it with marijuana and that doesn’t actually help him develop actual skills. His choice to manage it this way is causing hurt to you and his children.

I think you genuinely feel sorry for him and have love for him. Yet, you do not deserve to be the one he takes out his frustrations on. This is something that is upsetting your children.

You are in a very challenging place.