The best thing that will ever happen to me is my parent's dying. I will fake cry and pretend but inside I will be elated. My life will finally begin!
They have held me back and limited everything I do. I must have been yelled at every time I cried or talked as a baby. I have been afraid to do everything my entire life. I even had selective mutism as a child. I couldn't talk to anyone. It is the most awful feeling in the world and I would not wish it on anyone!
I have never been on a plane, I can't date because then my parents would "see" who I am dating. When I drive down the street I am always watching for my parents car to make sure they don't "see" me. When I pull into the driveway, I immediately turn my car radio off for fear they will "hear" it and shake their heads because everything including music is bad. I have no real friends left and the ones I do have use me. I don't have relationships with men, only married ones because with them I can hide everything about me. I hate my job but can't find a better paying one. I am stuck! I hate holidays and birthdays because I have no one to spend them with.
I suffer extreme loneliness