Actually the pattern you just witnessed where he could not converse with you on an adult level and blew up and walked away is what he does with drugs. He uses the drug as a means of escape. When a person turns to drugs/alcohol they stop maturing. So if they start at age 13, that is the maturity level they remain as long as they use drugs for an escape.

The family ends up suffering because of this up and down loop of behavior.

I had to learn how this had affected me in that I had been living my life according to this kind of behavior in both my father and my husband. What I experienced from my family dynamic growing up normalized the dysfunction that alcohol use created. This can be something passed down in families and ends up being repeated from one generation to the next.