He was a regular psychologist before getting the sports psychologist credentials--that's sort of a side thing. I'm not sure what his actual modality is--he's said it's a mix of things. His PhD is in clinical psychology (which is fairly general!).

And I agree that it seems he should be aware by now that I'm sensitive to this sort of thing. I think that's part of what makes this so difficult, actually--that it feels he knows me well by now, including my triggers, and tries to be careful. So to just say this--he had to know I'd react poorly to it. And that brings up thoughts of "Does he even know me at all?" Maybe that's part of what this is about?

You also make a good point in the continuing threat of in-person being taken away. As that's part of what the check-ins are about. If I felt completely secure in it, then I wouldn't do them at all. Maybe deep down, that's what those are about? Though I don't know that I'd be checking in had he not sent me the Zoom link that time while I was in his waiting room in person. And was afraid we had to do virtual, when I'd driven there. Which felt a bit like abandonment in a way, even though it worked out and I saw him in person that day? In his mind, it was probably fine, but for me, the threat was there.

And I think the concern about having to suddenly switch to virtual, with it being a unilateral decision, is definitely looming. I went in today expecting that announcement, as there have been so many headlines recently about both increasing cases and hospitalizations in my area and nationally. So that likely ties into it all as well. He seemed slightly annoyed when I confirmed today that he had no announcements to make, but then also said he's fine with me checking in about it (but is he?).

Ugh, I just hate how things like this make me feel. I wish they didn't affect me so much, but, I mean, it's part of why I'm in therapy. Would be nice if the therapist didn't trigger the insecurities more....