This whole internet world - Is what I dreamed of as a kid. Unlimited information, anything - Constant this, that, other...something else. HD+, unlimited data, fast, high quality..

But my mind broke down from wifi always disconnecting, slowed down downloads after reaching max, nothing loading or taking forever to download.. then the movie downloads, I burn it to a CD - It fails - Doesn't play, corrupted - Then I deal with viruses, malware + Nothing refreshed, RAM wasn't fast enough, hard drive full, etc etc...

So my mind just expected all of this stuff for so long BECAUSE, and.. I knew that it would be better in the future. But it took so damn long.

It's like happiness in general. If you want to wait for it to get better and each time it never comes (And let me remind.. I was in complete isolation, on a farm - 10x the size of the UK - All high school friends either played hockey or did drugs..), you get depressed, your brain hardens into a boiled, black egg. Then it cracks and turns into dust.

That's why I'm so obsessed with neuroplasticity.