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May 20, 2022, 08:02 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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All night and all day the wind has been absolutely wild! I don't mind it when I'm lying in bed at night, but being out in it during the day is not fun. My absurdly hyper-sensitive skin is actually burning from having been in the wind.
I saw Mary's (T) colleague today, just for a de-stress session until Mary returns from (another) leave. That was a rotten waste of 6$ a gallon gas  The chick was very sweet, but obviously new to the job (not bad questions, just textbook ones). She was certainly not as old as my daughter, maybe my son's age. She reminded me a bit of my DIL, sincere and kind, but...young. And not even as worldly. The moment I sat down the words in my mind were What am I doing here? and I have to talk about something, so...think of something....
I didn't feel any spark with her, just...nothing. Not as a therapist, anyway. When the session blessedly ended she said, "I would love to see you again...I mean, if you...next week, if Mary isn't back..." I just smiled and, I mean, what could I say except, "It was nice to meet you." And I was thinking, next week if Mary isn't back I think I'll be in some serious trouble. I felt so crappy, because I didn't say I'd like to see you again some time or anything. When I was leaving she told me she has a photograph she wants to show me of her husband's roller skating themed birthday party (I had told her I used to roller skate). I thought, "Oh, God, please" - but I said, "That must have been fun!"
Ugh. Let me outta here. Where's the freakin' door. Walk through the blasting wind, get in the car, turn on the radio, and pray for some good rock to be playing.
And now I feel deflated, tired. And David sure enough bit*hed at me about having an appointment to get my hair cut. Said, "Can't you hold off on that?" (Typical) He's always just oh, so loving and supportive . I told him that NO, I won't. Then I cancelled the appointment. Thought, eh, forget it. My hair is healthy now, let it grow some more. But you know...it's the principle of the thing.
Gah, forgive me. I'm in a rotten mood. In about 5 minutes I'll work on picking myself up.
 Love~
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