Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Part of your being stuck is your desire for him to be someone he can never be. You think if you can somehow reach him and convince him to care he will. His reply is consistently telling you he doesn’t care about your wants and needs or boundaries.
It’s a waste of time to tell him you are unhappy and even may leave him. It’s better that you focus on yourself and your effort to become personally independent.
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I think I’ve been buying into who he “tells” me he is, and who he tells me I am. He tells me utter crap about who I am and what I do. I don’t know why I think things will change. I guess having someone hug me every day and say they love me, say they like my dinner (yesterday it was “too salty”), has been enough for me. Made it this far by walking on egg shells and staying away from him, which he doesn’t notice/care at all.
He keeps picking at me and I suspect it’s because he wants to get a reaction out of me so he can throw a fit, and buy weed. His logic and arguments are sad. I used to defend myself about the utter crap he would say about me! And I hear him outside giggling with my daughter right now, surely about the dog. It’s to where I can’t stand to hear him laughing because he’s such a jerk!
I am feeling more and more independent. I’m trying to stay in a head space where I am not manipulated by him. So much of my emotional energy goes to dealing with him.