I've been worried about nuclear war and monkey pox since yesterday morning and my mom is saying and my therapist would probably agree with her that I'm just focusing on all that stuff as a type of coping mechanism I'm doing to distract myself from my real life health issues. I plan on seeing my pdoc in person finally at the start of June. If he tells me he knows of a great doctor, he can go shove it. He is always telling me he knows of some great doctor and he honestly just sounds full of himself. He never seems to trust or understand that I am already getting good medical care and I trust my doctors. But today I don't feel as bad physically as I did yesterday. That advil really helped and I think I'm getting used to the swallowing thing. I'm a bit worn out and slightly on edge anxiety wise but thats about it today.

Theres this band I like called Jacks Mannequin and then he went solo a few years ago and became Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness. I've liked him since high school but since Januarary 2021 I've found a lot of his songs really relatable to what I've been going through myself. Especially regarding my transference therapist and my health issues. I've just been using my music to cope a lot with how I've been feeling.

I'm currently a bit nauseated. I haven't gotten nauseated in awhile. I've taken my valiums and what I could of my mental health stuff. I could possibly need half a zofran for the first time in awhile. My throat pain was getting there but still stable. My mom got the makings for vanilla milkshakes so I wouldnt have to stop at Starbucks again.

The nausea went away after a homemade milk shake. Now I am just worn out and I only had the energy to do one load of laundry today that I'll just leave in the dryer. My nephews are at their partys so the house is quite. But my area just hit the high covid risk mark and with them at partys and my sister and brother in law flying to a wedding who knows what next week will look like. At least our 8 free kits are coming.