I used to struggle a lot when my Ex T went on holiday at the beginning of our time together. I found writing to her helped. I wrote whatever j felt, whenever I felt, and I agreed with her that I could drop it round to her before she got back, and she would read it before our session again. It really helped knowing that I could still communicate with her in some way, and that she was definitely planning on coming back. It's really hard though isn't it.