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Originally Posted by divine1966
People who use shock collars (or any other cruel methods) on animals are not going to be my friends and I am not even a pet person.
As about friendship it sounds that she was ok with chit chat online on social media but wasn’t up to anything like actual hanging out let alone being actual friends.
She had no interest in you actually visiting them (was she the one inviting you first or you were the one suggesting you visit them?). Her way to get out of it was telling you she is too busy. I am not excusing her but hosting people from out of town or even just show them around if they stay in the hotel is a lot of work. And if you only met once, she might not be very invested
It sounds that perhaps it wasn’t as true friendship as you thought it was or hoped it would be. But frankly if she is so nasty and doesn’t even share same views why even be friends with her. Good riddance.
I missed where she told you how great her husband is. Lol who cares. Weirdo. Like what’s the use for you to know how great is her husband if you don’t ever spend time together.
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I agree with you - shock collars on dogs is a big no-no and the Humane Society agrees with me and doesn't promote the use of them. So, at the end of the day, while I'm disappointed my yearlong investment in my friendship with this woman didn't work out, I can't be friends with ANYONE who advocates shocking their dog because their dog barks. Dogs bark. Accept it as a fact, or don't adopt one. Her cruelty on her 2 year old German Shepherd puppy caused us to argue a lot already (she'd hit the puppy, put a muzzle over its face, shout at it, berate it, etc).
I think you're correct that she was only interested in having an online friendship after we met in person last year with a big group from our Facebook group (which is how we all met each other in person).
You're also correct that she tried to get out of my offer to visit her and her husband this summer in person (they have relatives in my state, which is why they were here in the first place, visiting her husband's family), by telling me she was too busy to deviate from her schedule (which is rude to say to someone who is visiting from out of town anyway).
I never asked her to host me either. I just asked if she would be free over a two day weekend to go on a trolley ride of her city with me, and maybe out to lunch or dinner the next day including with her husband before I'd leave. So, a quick 3 night, 2 day visit. Not enough for her to feel so "put out."
Yeah. She texted me after I ended the friendship in a FB message, writing, "Well, I have my husband and you don't have one. So, I'm very lucky! etc etc etc" So, that reeked of her own feelings of insecurity if all she has is her husband that she has to brag about it to a woman she met twice in person and spoke to over the phone with a handful of times over the past year.
This is why I don't like online friendships as much as some people do. I want real friendships offline, in real life. I am rejoining Meetup groups now that Covid is (hopefully) over. I hope to meet and make new friends that way. If there are 7 billion people on this earth, surely, a few of those people want to be friends with me in person.
Making friends after 50 is hard as it is. I don't want to get a cat or dog, because I can't afford to care for either one financially. Once I can afford to, I plan to get a cat or a dog. Plus, there are tenants in my building who own dogs, and they let me pet them when our paths cross while I'm out walking in our neighborhood.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply, divine. My ego hurt a little bit. It's just annoying when people you invest in for friendship, turn out to be one-sided investments.