Yesterday was an anniversary...the 8 year anniversary of the abuse from my ex bf. I decided to go to a friend's house for a picnic. But the whole time my dad couldn't put me down enough, make fun of me, etc. I've been a mess since he made me the laughing stock of all my friends...I feel so worthless once again.

He's giving me the silent treatment today...I don't know why either....so it's making this 10 times worse for me. I feel like such a bad person. I tried to talk to my friend and all she says it's a shame that some parents are like that...no real support...nobody sticking up for me...nobody telling me I'm not some worthless piece of crap!

I've been really fighting off the urges to SI...all I wanna do is sleep...I don't wanna be here right now. It's taking all my energy just to post this...