I hate it when my therapist prefaces something with "I don't know how this will be received", but at least he (sometimes) warns me before he says something that's likely going to trigger something negative for me.

Yesterday it was how he's worried that I rely on him and that without therapy how empty my life might be. (I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember how he phrased it and that's the most neutral phrasing I can come up with right now.) So now I feel really pathetic because I don't have people I can rely on for support and have basically no friends. He did say that it's okay that I rely on him, but is it really? He asked me what I was looking for in friendship and I couldn't answer him. I could only think of what I'd want in a romantic partner which made me feel even more pathetic. I have a lifelong history of difficulty making friends and at my age it certainly doesn't get any easier. I don't want to talk with him about my loneliness after this exchange even though I'd emailed him about struggling with it between sessions. An email which he didn't respond to, which felt pretty crappy given the subject matter. I pretty much want to just ghost him right now.