Uuugh I just got home from CR’s fifth grade chorus concert and oh, it’s hitting me so hard that he’s almost in middle school. The concert was excellent. They sang the song “remember me” from coco and I don’t know if any of you know it but it is a real tear-jerker, let me tell you!

I just think he’s been through soooo much, with me being hospitalized so much since he was two and his father dying, me having a short binge drinking problem…god he’s so happy and well adjusted despite all that crap, I don’t know how it happened! I worry about middle school and him being bullied but I know there’s nothing I can do except be there for him and help where I can.

In other news I talked in group and pretty much came to the same conclusion as I already had. It’s a radical acceptance situation with my brother, that’s all. I have to accept his faults like I have my mother’s. It’s going to be very difficult doing my mom’s move without his help but it is what it is. If he helps, great, but I can’t expect it or rely on him. It’s a shame but oh well. Gotta “keep f’ing going” like my locket says.

Tomorrow I must make a dr appointment for my wrist. The tendons are all swollen and I’m getting tingling in my pinky/ring finger. Some nerve is compressed somewhere. I haven’t fallen, it just happens from time to time and I simply use a brace for a few days and it heals but it’s not healing this time. Best to get a formal treatment plan going. I don’t want permanent damage.