I'm not sure my depression will ever be gone. There are rare, and I mean very rare moments where I've felt thankful to be alive. Since I was a child, all my memories are of crying and wishing I'd never been
born. I feel useless.... and I see no use for me to hang on. I have the means to end this, I just don't have the guts.
I made the stupid mistake of letting a man who has a gf get to my heart. He's not available, I didn't ever let my head even go there. I'm a stupid woman that falls for a kiss, for some attention, because I'm lonely for affection. Now it just hurts. Thought it was over with, then I feel like he feels sorry for me and turns me on again. It's torture, and it's just my fault. Friends that never text me first, and really they aren't friends. I don't know how to make it on my own, and I will be totally alone, looking for a place to live without enough money. I know the world has so many problems, and I should be thankful that I'm not homeless, YET, but it's coming.