I've got a lot on my mind. I've put off counseling temporarily because of family coming to visit, but I am really struggling. I'll see my counselor on the 6th, but I'm twisted in emotions and gotta get some stuff off my chest.

I feel like a bad furmama, but I've done so much for little Elwood who is getting so much bigger. He's got lots of enrichment, toys, a huge 6 foot kitty condo that he loves, and I spend as much time with him that I can. I work 40 hours a week and a neighbor stops by to visit him twice a day. But I worry about him and I also worry that he throws tantrums when I want alone time. I feel like I have to schedule me time now, and I'm always on Elwood's time and feel guilty when I lock him up just to put my headphones on (to not feel obligated to cave in to his cries) and relax.

Work is debilitating for my PTSD and anxiety. I get bullied by coworkers and customers. Everything I say to a coworker goes straight into the boss' ear, and I get chewed out for it. I am a smart, educated, honor roll student who spent her last job saving lives, and I get called the village idiot or a lot of worse things because of petty things like not knowing the difference of four different shades of green colored cigarettes that are called completely different things by different customers or for not being able to count 24 cans (and having it explained to be step by step by the customer who I then told, "apparently they never explained how to count in calculus, statistics, or college algebra, so who knows how I got straight A's in those classes").

I have high anxiety all day long at work with one full blown anxiety attack once or twice a week. I've told everyone from the very beginning this job is not meant for me and that I'm miserable...no one listened. Even the counselor told me I need to stick it out, but now I think it might push me over the edge.

It's not always or not only depression, I have more on my plate than I can deal with. I don't know how to cope. I can't shake my anxiety or anger about work. I have to put up with it until after my vacation in July. I'm trying to tell myself, stick it out, stay strong, it'll go by faster than you think.

I have one hope going for me at work. June is Pride month, and I have ordered five Pride shirts and a rainbow eyeshadow palette and I will wear my pride shirts at work. It is okay for me to wear them at work, and all my pride shirts are work appropriate.

I am just so overwhelmed with these negative thoughts and feelings and anxiety and depression and anger. I am so overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities. I am so overwhelmed with my work. And I don't know what to do, but I am struggling to cope.