Great questions. The comment was said outside walking to my car within earshot of other students (male and female). One of the SINGLE male students joked, "You owe me a drink", to which I responded (jokingly), "I don't pay for drinks! I'm too pretty to pay for my own drinks". I actually bought him a beer at karaoke following dance class. See, it was a JOKE!!!

As far as I know, there are only a few guys in the class that are in relationships, and they are very clear about that. I'm at the class to dance and have zero interest in connecting with any male in the class outside of friendship... actually... dance only. Dating in that environment could get messy if things didn't work out.

...and yes, I get VERY nervous in new settings and try to "break the ice" with jokes. I've been unsuccessful going in the opposite direction as well. When I've entered social situations and stayed rather quiet, I've been labeled a "you know what".

... and I mingle (and joke) equally with men and women. There are actually more women in the class than men. The instructors make a point to have us "rotate" between partners so everyone has a chance to mingle. During that time, I try to engage with others and talk about different topics (although the ladies seem less interested in motorcycles, sports, vintage cars, etc. which are more interesting to me).

Oddly enough, I started attending the class to try to socialize more, but was quickly reminded why I don't. The same thing happened in work situations before COVID blessed us with remote working. I was always super awkward or felt uncomfortable, so I would say little-- and got judged and talked about. I tried opening up and was labeled "fake" or "trying too hard".

In fact it was a woman in the class who told me I wasn't received well by "several" because of perception. She said I made other people uncomfortable and that made me unwelcomed (which really hurt my feelings) I get incredibly lonely and just want COMMUNITY, but can't seem to find it. How can I develop better social skills or NOT make people uncomfortable?

The "pretty" joke was really an isolated incident, and I wish the person who didn't like the comment would have come directly to me. I'm open to feedback and am willing to make changes.

In instances like these, I would normally just not go back, but I really enjoy the class (well, I did). Now I don't know what to do at the next one. If I greatly reduce my interaction, I'm afraid I'll look like a "you know what", and if I communicate with any of the men, I'm going to wonder which person I'm offending (my guess is that a female experienced this discomfort).

When you've been really sheltered when you were young and put down by those close to you, it's not as easy as people think to socialize. This makes me sad...