Ugh I’m a ****ing mess physically as well as mentally. I think I have to make a priority list for physical health problems as well. I have an appt for my swollen wrist on Thursday so at least I’ve done that. I have an endoscopy for my abdominal pain scheduled in June. I was going to cancel but based on other digestive issues I’ve decided to keep it. Ultrasound never shows anything so maybe endoscopy might. I need to get my back looked at again. Actually I need to start doing my core exercises because that’s all they’re going to tell me, as well as lose weight, which I’m tired of hearing. Maybe a dietitian would be helpful as well, I don’t know.

My brother said “dinner’s just not going to happen” but he’s willing to FaceTime. I said after six today so I can feed my own family. If I don’t hear from him by 7 I’ll call. I need to know if he’s going to help or not.

I’m a bit unhappy today, not necessarily depressed but I guess overwhelmed. There’s just too much to do and I can’t get any help. I mean my physical stuff is on me, nothing I can do about that, just gotta suck it up. I wish someone could help me. I’m tired.