Quote:
Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul
Behaviours are so mysterious sometimes.I do not justify hurtful behaviours,but we will have to accept that some people are dysfunctional and never selfreflect about their own hurtful ways.They simply do not care about how the things they say or do might impact others.
I will give you an example of my own experience. When I was in middle school, there was this guy around my age,went to different school,but somehow used to come to my parents house.I think he befriended my parents because he had a crush on me back then.He started talking to me and mirroring me.He told me he liked to sketch, when he found out I liked to and bought supplies and we sketched together.
He was just coming to my place and were doing some innocent harmless things in the living room,in my parents presence.After six months we moved to a different town.After 15 years or so,he landed in the new town and again befriended my parents.by this time I had moved out and this guy started calling me.
He stalked me and started inappropriate conversations.He called my landlord and told that me and him were a thing back then.A blatant lie.we were both 11 or 12 when we sketched together.
We were not a couple.He had my number and address. I called my parents and told them all of this.Any healthy parent would worry about their daughter's well-being. My parents said that I do not like this guy,but they do enjoy his presence.He is a nice guy according to them.They continued their relationship with him to this day.They helped him financially too.He is one of the faux son.
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To your point that some people are dysfunctional and never sel reflect about their own hurtful ways - I agree with you. And the woman this thread is about, definitely doesn't
self-reflect...at least she never did with me. She just doesn't care about how her actions
and words impacted me during our yearlong friendship.
That guy in your anecdote sounds extremely manipulative and divisive. That's odd that your parents can't see through him, based on the way he stalked you and tried to get you in trouble with your landlord. I wonder how he has continued to fool them for so
long, that they consider him a faux son, esp. since he stalked you. Sorry to hear that.
I don't know how she acts with other people but she definitely never respected me, based on how I felt after any online or phone call interaction with her. I always felt
drained aftward, which in hindsight is a red flag that she was not a good person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleTears
That is perfectly OK that you disagree with me on an emotional level. I understand that people are uneasy with the concept of using the device... however it's not a good idea to become judgemental... send unsolicited unproven emotionally driven articles to change someones dog training method that maybe working for their dogs.. What if the woman is seeing a dog trainer.. what gives you the right to get in the way because you emotionally disagree with the method being used? Do you personally know this persons dog? Are you a dog trainer? Have this person came to you for dog training advice? Most likely not.
I'm not trying to argue with you... just that sometimes we need to mind our own business if we want to get long with people. From your post this woman became quite annoyed by the article that you sent her... she didn't ask for it yet you did it anyways.
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So, reread this post you wrote. Here's what I observed:
1. You accuse me of being judgmental, then also judge me.
Pot calling the kettle black.
2. You tell me that my opinion is wrong because it's uninformed and because I'm not a dog trainer like you are.
That's called gaslighting.
3. You tell me I'm emotional and not allowed to have an opinion.
That's called gaslighting.
Do you think that approach - the gaslighting and judging - makes me open to any advice you have to offer? No, it doesn't. It actually makes you come across very aggressive and projecting on me, which I don't appreciate and am not going to take on.