I am sad everyday.It is like a default setting for me. I know I am not depressed as my sadness does not interfere with my functioning in my day to day life.But I need to constantly look for something to do in order to distract myself from my ruminations. Ruminations and flashbacks intensify my mild sadness.That is what I tried to avoid.There is deep grief too.I am trying to process my grief as much as I can.Long way to go.I accept and understand my sadness and the reason behind it and made it ( sadness )my friend.I think this feeling will stay with me for ever(because I won't be getting any closure from the reasons ).I need to cope and be productive.