My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar check-in # 66

Moose72 · May 26, 2022 at 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Unlike the weather, which suddenly got cloudy and cooled way down (thank the Universe) - I am burning.

So I called the clinic to make an appointment for a routine pap smear. The receptionist says, "Did anyone tell you that Mary will be out next week?" Uh, no...no one bothered to call and tell me and I'm pretty sure that, as usual, it would be Tuesday morning (because Monday's a holiday) when I would be informed. Lucky for me that I happened to call today.

So that was an annoyance, but really, I am angry at this point. I mean, if this was a rare one-time thing with Mary being out sick it would be understandable. But this is not at all uncommon. Over the past 3 years she has been out like this anywhere from one session to 3 months. The average is 3 weeks. Generally, I'll have between 5 and 9 sessions with her, then she's out sick - and always, without exception, on day-before or same-day notice.

She's 71 and I know she loves her job. I know she doesn't want to retire. But there comes a point, ya know? There comes a point at which clients are somewhere between being disappointed and being downright traumatized by her absences. There comes a time at which Mary is being really, truly selfish to keep letting clients down. It would be more understandable if it was a case of "Mary is on leave and will return *X* day." And that happens as planned. But this is the usual with her. "Mary will be back next week." "Hmm, well, looks like Mary's still sick, so it'll be another week." And so on.

I spoke with her very frankly about this once before when she disappeared for weeks. I told her that her behavior was selfish, that even though she doesn't want to retire, if her health demands it, perhaps she should retire. I came very close at that time to quitting therapy with her.

I have an appointment with Dr. B. on Tuesday. I miss Mary terribly, but honestly, this feels like abuse. Mary is not respecting my life, time, needs, boundaries.

*sigh* I'm angry. And I'm hurt. I mean, damn. She could shoot me a short email and let me know she's thinking of me and hopes to be well soon. Something. A tidbit.

Thanks for listening. Love to each of you.

I know you like her but it really seems that it's time for you to move on.