Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
If you sent an email that said something like the following, would you expect some sort of response of at least "thanks"? Particularly if the other person pretty much always replies to your emails with something? Or does it seem more like, I don't know, a "thinking of you" card to which you wouldn't respond?
"Only sending this as an email because I didn't want to put you on the spot in session. But you seemed sad in session yesterday, and I just wanted to say that I hope you and your loved ones are OK (not prying). Or perhaps it was related to something in the news.* I'm not looking for an explanation, just wanted to share that. I hope this didn't feel intrusive, and if it did, I'm sorry."
He had also switched to virtual at the last minute, didn't say why except not Covid-related (I know, he doesn't owe me an explanation), and was wiping tears a couple random times during session. Yes, I know, I should leave the man alone. I'm not going to ask any questions about it in session today. But I'm going to feel terribly awkward if he doesn't acknowledge my email at all, either via email or during session. I sent it fairly early yesterday morning, so I'm sure he saw it.
Background that we're in the midst of conflict/rupture repair (that was mainly about my confirming sessions were in person, not virtual, and concerns about last-minute changes, so Wednesday also triggered me a bit), so I'm particularly sensitive to these things. I'm fully aware that I should not have sent the email, so it won't be helpful to tell me that. It's more like, is it cause for concern if he didn't reply with anything? I don't want to be needlessly anxious walking into session.
*I referenced the specific thing.
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Hugs LT. I sent along-those-lines emails to L in the past and I expected at least a 'thanks' in response too and usually would get that, but then in the next session she would say something like "this isn't about me, it's about you." Which I always hated hearing. I mean I
know that, but at the same time I think it was not exactly therapeutic for her to
say it when I was just showing a common human caring, besides whenever something was going on for her that she unintentionally let into the session enough for me to notice it, then obviously it was affecting me and therefore the therapy. All of that is to say I
don't think it was wrong for you to send the email. Therapy is something that happens between
two human beings and I never understood why we must be made to feel like we aren't allowed to care human to human. Aside from how they're being "off" affects the therapy. I know I'm rambling but apparently this is still a bit of a thing for me.
