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Like, what is going on with me there?
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Exactly, and yet this question seems chronically overlooked.
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I had this thought just now after reading your post. I doubt he'd go for this. But I wonder what might happen if for, say, a month (some set span of time), he would be OK with me just emailing whenever I had the desire to do so, no comment on it being irritating (he's only said that recently), maybe no charge, or perhaps a set charge for the month? And he'd agree to respond to them, as long as they weren't too excessive. And we could sort of see how things play out?
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This sounds like a strong push from you to want more from him. This could be really rich material where you work out what is going on for you. This desire is information and your respective responses could provide yet further information.
I push against my therapist very hard and I can be really nasty to her. The work for me is not whether I can be successful at hurting her (although I still try), but to work out what is happening for me when I shove her. She might use her response to my push (typically, her response is to either feel defensive or to want to rush in and rescue me) as an indication of something, but I remain at the centre. For example, she might say something like "I can feel you pushing me and I feel that I need to defend myself. Usually when you push like this, you are feeling vulnerable. Are we getting close to something frightening?" On a bad day, she gets angry and fights back, but never mind that for now. Similarly, whether you can get him to acquiesce to your desires (about email, standing up, handshakes, notification about returning to remote sessions, etc) is not a negotiation that means very much, not least because the nature of desire means that our list of desires is endless. It is the fact that you want so strongly which indicates stuff about you. He should be skilled enough to look at your push for more without retreating and prioritising his own (defensive, avoidant, judgmental?) response.
To be honest, his approach sounds basic and he sounds dim. My sense is that you could really get in amongst the relational stuff if you were provided with some strong guidance. You are bright. You have lots of energy for therapy and you are able to think in great detail about what is happening. I think you are a more skilled client than he is therapist. I feel frustrated because I don't like dim men doing bright women a disservice so maybe I am projecting my stuff all over your situation.