Ok so let him work and get paid well, hope he can keep this job so he can pay bills. Separate yourself from him and don’t poke the bear as it just leads to him saying more bad things.
When someone is toxic, they will put you down when you call them out if you pay attention any positives are really for his own ego and not because he actually cares.
It’s time to accept that he is not going to be the person who genuinely cares about and respects you.
Actually a lot of divorces take place in you age group of early forties. You deserve some happiness in your life.