I think the gist of it is that your T is not, or does not practise within a relational framework whereas this is how you seem to 'operate'. In this way, I think you are stretching, expanding - even challenging him in a way he isn't used to. He seems to have a more 'narrow' way of doing therapy. I wonder if he has many clients like you, hence he must feel out of his depth. I get the feeling that his way of doing therapy is sometimes... trial-and-error and fumbling his way forward with you. I believe he is learning a lot from you because you are making him a better therapist. Why? You are helping him gain awareness that therapy is more complex and in-depth than how he practises. The problem is that teaching him to do his job better is not your job. He is not doing the same for you i.e. he is not stretching or challenging you. Instead, it feels like he lets you down.

I am not saying you are a problem client but that he is not trained to go deep, be (self)-reflective and meet you where you are at. He seems more 'reactive' and at times harsh. I mean, I believe therapists should to be able to express how they feel e.g. hurt or even angry at a client. The problem is that your T does this in a non-therapeutic way. If a T is not careful, it can be shaming. I don't know if he makes you feel ashamed but some of his comments to you (e.g. his recent annoyance) seem to me quite blunt and even hurtful. That shows, to me, his limitations with regards to navigating the interpersonal dynamics inherent in this work. There is a way for a T to express their anger or boundary-crossing (or whatever) with a client but in a spirit of curiosity and in non-shaming way. He doesn't seem to know how to do that....

Sometimes it feels you are both speaking different languages because he cannot meet you where you are at. I feel he is lucky to have a client like you in that you are 'teaching' him to be a better therapist. But, again, that is not your job... It doesn't seem that he is giving you what you need. To do so, he would need to 'stretch' more and I wonder if he can do that, as it doesn't seem to be a brand of therapy he practises,

Just my 2p - feel free to ignore the essay.