Rive, I agree with quite a bit of what you said, so thanks for sharing. I think what is so difficult for me at times--like now--is that it does seem like he's come to understand me and be the therapist I need. Maybe not the one I want, but the one I need. Where he's adapted and been more flexible and seems to *get* things that he didn't understand a few years ago.

And then something like this happens, and I wonder if he understands at all? Or if his comfort is the most important thing. In talking to him Monday, when we were initially repairing the rupture, I made a comment about that. How it seemed like it was more about his comfort than mine, but I guess for him, that of course is the most important thing, like why wouldn't it be? But I said his "mild irritation," as he put it, with the check-ins, presumably didn't involve him laying awake in the middle of the night crying. Though I said I also felt very selfish for saying that. Like it's not fair to expect him to not say anything to me if he's irritated because I might get really upset.

I'm trying to recall what he said to that. I think he sort of agreed with me? In the sense of, it's not fair to tell someone not to share how they're feeling because it might upset the other person. Though he said I wasn't being selfish.

One of the things jumping out at me right now, too, is how he said he knows I'm going through a lot of stress right now (H's surgery, stuff with D's assessments and school), so he's "giving me grace." If this is what "grace" looks like, what would he be doing otherwise???

May respond more later, too. Those were just some initial thoughts.