It sounds like when he gets triggered he experiences varying degrees of anger. One therapy that may help him is DBT. This kind of therapy helps a person slowly identify what different emotions are so they can slowly understand themselves better and work on slowly building skills to manage these emotions. Males especially tend to experience anger more because they are often raised and taught they are weak if they get emotional.
Your husband will continue to face challenges until he develops better social skills verses reacting with resentments and anger. It sounds like he is so sensitive that people end up walking on eggshells around him.
It isn’t just you that struggles to relate and interact with him, it’s probably everyone.