DREAM

V***** and I are in some planning meeting with several of her colleagues. We're all hunched over tables working.

A male colleague/friend of her's enters the room. She greets him warmly.

Triggered by this I lash out, making a hurtful comment about their closeness. Colleagues at the table hear me. V***** leaves the room embarrassed and upset.

A colleague to my right comments on the unwarranted cruelty of what I said. I know this to be true.

Still in the room I spy on V***** through a window as she chats with a female friend in the grounds below. I jerk back behind the curtain to avoid being seen by them. They're just talking.

-----

This dream is from last night.
I get a wave of emotion reflecting on it.

It mirrors the difficulty I faced coming to terms with some of V***** closest relationships. Due to my own insecurity and whatever unresolved trauma I have, I managed to destroy one significant relationship she had for which, I know, she will never forgive me.