Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
It's super weird how much he doesn't seem to understand trauma. Like, even a non-therapist would probably have a better understanding. If you take any other person who experienced similar developmental trauma in [your state], they are likely to respond in a similar way. I think hearing that your reaction is valid and makes total sense in the context of your life and history would be way more helpful. It's super weird that telling you that people get irritated and they get over it is supposed to heal anything that's causing the sensitivity in the first place??
How do you feel about this? Was it comforting or helpful or frustrating or baffling or....?
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Ha, I literally just replied to your PM from the other day, but will say something else here.
I also don't understand this. I left this one part out, as it was so long. But with the sensitivity to being irritating, I said, "I think this is stuff from the past." And he said, "Is it though? It feels very much in the present for me." To which I said, "Yes, but the fears are from things that happened in past relationships and messages I got from my mom." He said he guessed that was maybe part of it.
I was saying to a friend earlier, it's like he thinks if he tells me enough times that he's irritated and then things are OK, I will suddenly just accept it, without other work being done on it. Like some sort of exposure therapy. But I don't think it works quite that way? At least, not without some sort of plan (like, there's exposure and response therapy for OCD, but that has very specific steps to it, going from least to most distressing--I did a bit of that that with ex-T at one point).
It also felt like he was being critical of how my brain works, both Friday and today. Maybe what he meant was, "Ugh, it sucks that your brain works that way, I'm sorry," but he said things like, "Wow, you go right to the worst possible outcome!" Like, right, this is why I'm in therapy! It reminds me of ex-T saying, related to my OCD and ex-MC, "This is as obsessive as it gets!" Right, yes, I have OCD. You supposedly have training specifically in that!!! (ex-T, not Dr. T) Would a dermatologist be like, "Wow, your skin is really messed up!"
I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm not sitting here crying or hating myself like Friday night. But I'm not feeling that great about Dr. T either. I'm not sure he really understands. He's like, "I irritate people all the time, whatever." He seems mystified by why it bothers me so much, if it's a "minor irritation." I also really don't recall him including the "minor" part in either the thing two Fridays ago (about the in-person check-in texts) or this past Friday (the email). It's like after the fact, he's saying, "Why are you making such a big deal about this? It's just a minor thing."
So I think in response to "Was it comforting or helpful or frustrating or baffling or....?" I would have to say "all of the above."