I had gone for several years without experiencing major bipolar symptoms, but with the birth of my first child I was triggered like I never had been before. The first couple of weeks of very poor sleep and very high stress caused a pretty bad relapse. I didn't need to go to the hospital, but I did deal with some delusions and disconnections from reality. This lead me down a rocky path of rapid cycling for well over a year. I did have periods of stability, but then I'd find myself elevate, and then crash over the course of a week or two, and then ride a Rollercoaster for weeks after.

Over the last few months I have started taking Lamictal, and it seems to be helping. I do seem to have somewhat hypomanic states, but nothing to cause any disruption in my life. My worry is the floor will drop out from underneath me again. It's happened so many times for what feels like so long, I can never trust I am done with it, at least for a while.

Yesterday I felt the sudden sense of empty dread that often precedes depression, and this was after feeling quite elevated for a while. I am feeling ok today, even after a night of poor sleep (baby still doesn't sleep well). I got more worried than anything, but I really hate feeling like it could pull me back under again at any moment. The relationship with my wife has already been strained enough, and for that reason alone, I really dont want to go back.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you deal with it? Just wait it out?