Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I never really saw the point of examining the root cause of anything. I usually don't care in all honesty.
So to me
Therapist = this sounds like old stuff from your mother
Me: Well Duh -but wtf - what difference does it make?
Therapist: What do you think?
Me: I don't think makes any difference at all.
Therapist and me = THE END
But
It may be that part of it is seeing irritation happen from someone isn't fatal in general or fatal to that relationship. You and your husband get irritated with each other. You and your daughter -= it isn't fatal to the relationship. The same is true of this guy and you - it isn't fatal on either side.
Plus if he actually does have mostly athletes of some sort = they are often not crushed by clear non-emotional direction - they hire him for that. I find that true of students I have who are athletes - I love to get athletes and theatre people -they have dealt with losing, criticism of response, and competition and I don't often upset them. Some of the other students I just tell to drop my class because I am never going to be the hand holder they want.
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Some good points here, too. See, I do like knowing the root cause.
But the concept of thinking of all the people I have irritated and how many of them are still around is another potentially helpful perspective on this. I did tell Dr. T today that I'm sure I irritate H all the time, and he's still around after like 16 years. Though each of us choose our battles on when we mention irritating things to each other. I think if he told me every single time I irritated him (and vice versa), well, that wouldn't feel too good. I would say it feels like Dr. T is telling me every single time, but maybe there are other things he doesn't mention?
I get Dr. T's concept though, where he tries to say something as soon as it starts bothering him rather than waiting until it becomes a big thing. Because then it can lead to more of an explosion, like "You've been doing this for months! Why didn't you stop!"
And I hadn't thought of the athlete angle for him.
This one professor I had in health science grad school sounds a bit like you in terms of style--though it was a course everyone had to take, so no option to drop it. The good thing is, I had fair warning about how she'd be, so I was prepared. Though the first time I got a draft of a paper marked up by her, it was still jarring, as she was very blunt and wanted things written a very specific way. (The funny thing is, I copy edit science papers for a living, and many of the things she insisted on actually aren't part of their style, and some even contradict it.)