Thanks Beth, my therapist tells me to give myself credit, too. I do, but its also hard to live with the damage that happens when im less than in control. I can't imagine what it would be like in the mother's position and dealing with mental illness. At least i was able to rely on my wife when i was not helpful.

I was on a few meds before the Lamictal (depakote, latuda, bupropion), the Lamictal is just a new addition.

My wife is doing much better in this latest stretch of stability. I think I have done well to make up for the pain I caused. I think there are some wounds that aren't quite healed, though. Through it all she's been an incredible mother, especially considering all the times I was of little help, or actually made things harder for her.

It was actually kind of a shock this time when I started feeling normal again. I had forgotten what it was like, and I wasn't sure how to do it anymore! I just hope it lasts.