"But i never learned how to be truly independent or self reliant in so many important ways. On the one side i was independent and extroverted from birth practically... on the other, for many complicated reasons, i didn't have good full role models, or teaching in good self confidence or inner reliance. i got what i have by watching people and trying to mimic, it has carried me far, but there wasnt anything of that deeper internalized component. So.. like i told T.. i know how to *act* confident... not how to *be* confident... and that extends to many necessary skills and interanl strengths. When i got old enough i was actively discouraged and when i formed outside relationships many of them took away from me... or worse. "

You said it, Fluff - the very things I've been trying to pinpoint for 5 years when i keep telling my T's somethings missing.

So, first to prioritize - are there things happening before t gets back? can you tell us (if you want help making descisions or just brainstorming)?
kiya