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Old May 31, 2022, 10:32 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,053
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneTennison1 View Post
I haven't posted in a while but I wanted to comment on this. You sound like me LT. passionately defensive of someone and I'm sure you will keep going but I'm not sure this is serving you overall.

I know that when I obsess over the T relationship this much it is as a protection thing. I think about every aspect and what they said or did. It's like thinking about the emotions without feeling them. You are not building any distress tolerance but moreover just focusing on what everyone says or does. My therapy has moved from constant thinking about it to feeling, to discussing and processing the big stuff. The fact this T has increased response to text, emails and even increased your appointments at sometimes shows that he is not behaving ethically. You may defend him and say he has helped you but really this same wounded pattern is still happening and showing up. This would be a red flag that he is not the T for helping heal this.

I'm sure he means well and maybe he is trying his best but I dont think this pattern will end until you heal that wound and focusing so much on who said what is not healing the wound.
Thanks for your comments. I do think that I'm feeling the emotions along with thinking about them. I don't want to get into a debate about this here, but I also don't feel he's behaving unethically in replying to emails and giving additional appointments at times. I assume you mean he's creating dependence. But I've also been under a high level of stress recently from various outside things go on, so I don't find it to be unethical for him to give me increased support if I need it.
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SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
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