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May 31, 2022, 02:27 PM
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,656
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth*
Do you think it's possible that I'm having the non-sleep mania symptom while meds are controlling other mania symptoms? Or am I fooling myself? I can't tell what's-what at this point. By that, I mean I can't tell what is due to Mary's sudden and prolonged absence and what is leftover from that monster med provider woman, and what is stress-related/mania. I know I feel weird, "noisy" mind, music, sped up. But not...ugh, I don't know what I am or I'm not.
Managed 2 1/2 hours of horrible sleep. Either the Haldol dose is too low or (as unlived pointed out) it's actually causing me insomnia. I guess the only option left is to do the 25mg Seroquel. Uggggh. I am shaking all over, like a sort-of shivering, but not cold. I feel like I'm collapsing. I'm either tired, or I'm not tired. I can't tell anymore.
My blood labs were so improved, not being on Seroquel. Makes me very sad to go back on it, yet I'm genuinely concerned about this lack of sleep.
The temperature is just lovely, but this dry wind has been going on for nearly 2 weeks. It sounds pretty and rustly, but my hair is getting longer and it gets all messed up from the wind. Static. Annoying.
GoGo, Dr. B. is Mary's effing colleague, he knows me well. Actually, sometimes people do see two T's at the same time. Apparently it's a "thing' now. I'm not into withholding information or lying to anyone, that's not my trip. So thanks, but I'm not sure I fully comprehend.
I bought tie-dyed blue organic cotton pants with 30" bells and 32" long to wear with my platforms. Oh, such fun 
Maybe Mary is dead & they're just not telling me? Or perhaps this is an alternate universe? I have no doubt that she cares about me and feels close to me. She's one of those follow-the-rules people and she's "not supposed to" contact clients. Still, it seems like an email wouldn't be outrageous, given the situation.
Anyway, I'll see Dr. B. this afternoon. I wish I was better able to remember what he looks like. He's really tall. My father (my real one, not the Destroyer) was 6'3" and was a pitcher for the NY Yankees. But that was long before I was born.
A daisy for each of you- a whole armload for Jennifer 
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I think you’ve had a lot of stress situations happening so it’s hard to gauge what situation and what bipolar.
The pants sound so cool 😎
Have a good appointment 
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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