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Old May 31, 2022, 10:36 PM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Trying to stay at around 1200 calories during my cycle because I wasn't planning on being able to do vigorous exercise due to cramps and bloating. But what do you know, this morning I felt in the mood and did 45 minutes hard on the bike trainer, and then a fast paced 3 mile walk with Andy. We did about 4.5 miles total today walking. I was hungry for a snack but didn't want to eat dinner until after my 7pm therapy appointment, so I had a can of chicken broth, which is only 15 calories.

I am stressed that I haven't seen a loss yet, when I have been so on point with my diet and vigorous exercise daily, which I haven't been able to do in the past. I know my cycle and hormones are screwing things up right now. I made a deal with my therapist to stick with it a few more weeks and just stay consistent and if nothing happens to my weight then we will re-evaluate the strategy.

I don't want to see a doctor - don't anyone even bring it up. I have too much medical related PTSD, and doctors tend to never have much empathy or compassion - at least the ones I've seen.

But I do think once my hormones settle down it will resolve. I mean, even though I feel crampy and bloated, the waistband of my shorts felt looser when I put them on yesterday. So I really think I'm just retaining water right now - I mean, did I mention I'm feeling bloated? Lol.

I ground up tofu with southwestern spices, mixed it with a little cheddar cheese and some hot salsa and spread it on romaine lettuce leaves for dinner. Sort of a healthy vegetarian take on tacos or southwestern lettuce wraps, whatever you want to call them. They were really good, actually.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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