That's very true... this illness is a cold nasty thing. It's not fair to have worked so hard and lose it through no fault of your own. But the issue is that it will cost even more to go down that road. I have worked pretty hard to get where I am, too, but I have made the decision to try to find a different path that won't cause my bipolar to resurface so easily/frequently. Right now I am looking for something similar to what i have been doing, but with less stress, deadlines, things to keep track of, and pressure to perform. I know in some fields that's not possible, but for me it was the cost I've decided to pay to hopefully spare my loved ones and myself further pain. This is just for me, not saying it should be what anyone else does.