I really admire this post, it's so articulate, so full of reflection and emotional insight.
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I'm pretty conflicted right now.
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it's also important for me to say that I don't consistently feel one way or another about him. I'm not consistently dissatisfied with him. Often I really like him.
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Hesitation is a valid response/action.
To hesitate, though, does mean living with, tolerating, uncertainty. How is that going for you?
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But I am also now feeling this kind of.......anger towards him. Like this low level simmering pissed feeling.
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This is important. Can you say more about this anger?
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He sometimes makes jokes that hurt my feelings. Its happened quite a bit. Small things. Like laughing at me about stuff. I've always expressed my upset, when he's done this, and he's always been apologetic.
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To me, this type of thing--especially laughing at you--should be happening less and less, approaching zero, quickly.
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He stares at me a lot. I hate it. That has gotten better as we've gotten more comfortable with each other.
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Same comment.
It's good that he can apologize and self-correct after being asked to. But at some point you might ask yourself "How long do I have to spend getting hurt frequently and then apologized to? When does he learn how to not hurt me so much?"
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I was happy single. I was...secure when I was single. I felt free.
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How free do you feel in the relationship?
((((((((WovenGalaxy))))))))