((Danialla)))) we are very confusing and complex sometimes arent we? i know i have confused the heck out of myself over and over again... so many contrasting feelings, mysterious feelings that spun away before i could take them apart and see what they were made of....

Danialla, because i really care about you i want to tell you a thing that helped me the most i guess... it was finding inside myself that strange mysterious place i couldnt understand... inside that place i imagined all my fears and past memories of things that happened... inside that imaginary place i put so many other things i cant go into detail about.... the point being, inside that place was all the unanswered questions i had about me ... the biggest one of all (am i a monster?) cause when you dont know yourself well, there's some really big unknowns to ponder...

it was greatly helpful to me to center those unknowns in one area of my imagination... it was greatly helpful to me cause i could put all the stuff i didnt know about in one place and it wasnt flying around in my head uncontrollably anymore...

when i had all that unknown fear in one place, i was able to control it a bit better... see a little clearer what it was made of and find that deep inside all that unknown stuff was an ordinary average human who needed love and wanted to give love... i think you are like that in some ways.. ive had two ego collapses so far, it clears away of lot of stuff when you dont have an ego...

i dont know if this is helping, i hope so... wishing you the best always...