I don't know what to do. I should NOT have said that. Now they're gonna force me to stay on Zyprexa. I really need to stop getting high but when I was clean it was awful I had five hospitalizations during that year. I can't go back. Maybe once I get the next 234mg injection things will calm down again. My brain is doing gymnastics on basically how to manipulate my NP at my next appointment instead of just being honest because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE REALITY IS AND IT'S SCARING THE BEJEEZUS OUTTA ME!!!