I don’t think you’re controlling either. I see this as you caring about the relationship enough to tell him when you feel uncomfortable. I think that’s healthy.

I think you’ve got some good advice on this thread, hoping it’s helpful, I don’t really think I can add to it except one observation…

You wrote about him staring at you, people often do this without even realising when they are attracted to someone. I did it a lot with my husband and I didn’t realise until one day he snapped at me - I just didn’t know how much it irritated him.