I had a hard time with the word "trauma" too. Things weren't great when I was growing up, but it could have been much, much worse. I was never beaten and I was never, like, a child soldier. When I talk about the lack of classic traumatizing events with my EMDR T, she has mentioned that those are actually much easier to recover from, especially with EMDR, because you reprocess one big event and it takes a handful of sessions and then it's done. Relational trauma is tougher because it affects your development of a sense of self and your feelings about being close to people. If you had your feelings invalidated, you just think that that's normal and continue to do it to yourself as an adult, which makes life infinitely harder than it has to be.

One thing I think about a lot as a parent of young kids is how memory works in early childhood. Basically you don't form long-term episodic memories until preschool age (like, we lived here, this happened at school, etc) but you form implicit memories from birth (I'm not actually sure about prenatally, but I wouldn't be surprised). So even if you don't remember specific events, you have a TON of feelings, impressions, sensations etc that have been stored but are not accessible to your conscious mind. I do think adults respond in characteristic ways when they were traumatized as children (particularly relational trauma), so I wouldn't be surprised that therapists who observe your symptoms and personality might have some clues about your past based solely on that.

I'm glad it was helpful, even though it sounds like it gave you some heavy things to think about.