Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
"Stifle yourself, eh there, Edith?" -- Archie Bunker
LT - you said today here in more than one place that you anticipate what T will say in response to you. Also that you are often disappointed in his responses. When exactly do you do this? Are there long pauses when you guys talk? Or do you come in with a pre-rehearsed script? Or is this all after the fact. I just cant imagine any scenario where i would even WANT my t to say something specific, let alone remember what it was, in the moment. Like you kinda set him up to say overreacting, while hoping he wouldnt say it? That seems like a dishonest transaction, at the very least. Like playing a rigged chess game. What would it prove?
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I do often plan out things I want to talk about beforehand, like I'll come in with some notes. Like "I want to bring up x topic, here's something I want to say."
It's a good question of whether I set him up to fail, in a sense. In the sense of the overreacting exchange, I really did not expect him to say "well, you were overreacting." I was trying to bring up something that had been bothering me and actually thought that, if anything, he'd say something like, "No, that's not what I meant."
And there can be some long pauses when we talk, too, like he'll stop to think about things for a minute, or I might. So sometimes I might anticipate what he could say in there.